Dis-identification: The Key Ingredient to Healing

I often remind my clients “You are not your problems!” When I make this proclamation, I am talking about the process of dis-identification.

Dis-identification is a foundational skill across psychotherapeutic modalities and an essential skill in healing from anxiety, depression, self-criticism and trauma. Dis-identification refers to the process by which we create space between our true selves and our felt sense. While many different types of therapy employ de-identification, rarely do they call it out by name. In this way, it often appears like our work is highly specialized or siloed instead of acting on universal principles which aid in the recovery process.

For example, a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may challenge a client’s negative thought pattern by asking them: What would you tell a friend if they were going through similar issue? By asking the client to think about the problem in this way, they are attempting to activate a third person perspective. This process is also sometimes called “Mentalizing”. It allows the client to get outside this issue.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) a therapist may use a humour or metaphor to induce the same kind of distance. Imagine that thought again, but this time repeat it in a valley girl accent. Imagine your thoughts are leaves passing by on a stream.

In Gestalt therapy, clients may complete Empty Chair or Two Chair Work, literally separating the problem into an imagined occupant of a chair.

And finally in Focusing Oriented Therapy (my primary modality), you may ask a client to touch a feeling and then return to a grounded state. Can you dip your toe in that choppy water? What does it feel like in your body? If it gets overwhelming step back. Gene Gendlin, the founder of Focusing Oriented Therapy reminds therapists in his writings that when it comes to approaching a problem, it is good to start on the edges, instead of our natural inclination to jump into the middle of the scene.

Dis-identification has also entered a new, in vogue status through the popularization of parts work. After all, what is Internal Family Systems (IFS) if not an operationalized process of de-identification? Experience does not belong to the whole of you, rather reflects a specific part, activated at a specific time.

Here are some possible interventions and techniques you can use on your own or in the therapy context to encourage this process.

Ø  Clearing Space (can be used as a stand-alone exercise or as the first step of Focusing). Take a moment a ask yourself “what is standing in between me and feeling OK in the present moment?” Imagine each of the thoughts that arise going into containers and sitting to the side. Do you feel different?

Ø  Guided Imagery. For example, can you give that physical sensation or emotion an image. Can you imagine transforming it in someway? For example, if your headache feels like a stabbing feeling, can you stay the hand that holds the knife?

Ø  Arts based Interventions. Can you draw out your feeling? What would it look like if you hung it on a wall?

Ø  Journaling Exercises. What are the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and memories you associate with this felt sense? While using the focusing attitude, can we distance ourselves from this problem by externalizing it?

Best Resource

The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing by Ann Weiser Cornell