What is the ‘Right Attitude’ for Therapy ?

How we approach our problems in therapy, often determines the course of the session (and furthermore, the course of treatment). This is particularly true for somatic modalities that rely heavily on our relationship with the self. Please read the following article if you would like to learn more about Focusing Oriented Therapy in my practice. Setting clients up for success therefore involves both modeling and cultivating the “Focusing Attitude”.

The Focusing Attitude is a concept implicitly discussed in Gene Gendlin’s philosophy on somatic therapy. It involves four separate components that are essential to how we approach our felt senses.

Presence

Presence refers to our ability to set aside our own agenda and stay with what is there in the moment. In somatic therapies we use the body as an anchor. While we may explore issues from the past or worries about the future, we are paying key attention to what it feels like in the here and now. As a client this may mean setting aside common cognitive traps and staying present with what the body brings.

As a therapist it requires an openness to abandoning the plan and going with what comes.

In this way, we are both on the same journey. Therapist and client both have responsibility to the present moment. As Gene Gendlin said “the essence of working with another person is to be present as a living being. And this is lucky, because if we had to be smart, or good, or mature, or wise, then we would probably be in trouble."  Being present is the foremost tool in our toolkit.

The Friendly Approach

Self-judgement is like putting a hat on a hat: it makes it very difficult to know what’s what. When approaching issues in therapy, it is important to take a friendly attitude towards the felt sense. And as Gendlin shares “being friendly does not mean denying that one feels angry or impatient with it. The point is not to try to feel “accepting” when one feels unaccepting. Rather being friendly toward the felt sense means that one makes a separate space for the anger and impatience, appreciates them, and lets them flow through.” Allow yourself to open up to what is there, whatever it may be. Friendliness and curiosity go hand and hand.

Validation

Similarly, allowing our felt sense to be validated further opens the door to greater exploration. Validation is not the same as toxic positivity, rather it involves the client and therapist supporting whatever appears. Gendlin shares “New and more positive contents emerge from a new and more positive manner of process. I am not proposing false optimism. There are too many deeply ingrained psychological demons for it to be the case”. Less than false optimism, validating our sadness, our anger, our fear let’s the process unfold. Therapist and client can be glad that these elements have come forward so as to move through them.

Dis-identification

Finally, Dis-identification is foundational skill across psychotherapeutic modalities. Dis-identification refers to the process by which we create space between our true selves and a problem, emotion, image or felt sense. Gendlin states that:

 “Setting something down or apart allows it to become whole…The purpose of this first movement of focusing is not merely to find a tolerable distance from the issue. Even when there is no overwhelming feeling, it is good to begin by trying not to go into the middle of the problem, as people usually do. They go right to their usual dead-end spot. Instead, we want to ask them to stand back a little, put the whole thing down, and that will allow it to form as a whole.”

Learning to step back gives us a new perspective. New perspective is often a change agent in therapy.

If you are interested in putting this attitude into practice, feel free to reach out and book at 15-minute consult to see if we would be a good fit.

Reference

Gendlin, E.T. (1996). Focusing-oriented psychotherapy. A manual of the experiential method. New York: Guilford.